Fragmentation May 31, 1996

2 to 3 days of darkness cover me. I know there is life beyond this cloud. But I can’t really see it. It’s like thinking of yourself in third person.

All I can say was in 1992 and 93 when I heard Neil Young play his harvest moon, I could hear “the end “in the words. But now I’m still in love with you I want to see you dance again because I’m still in love on this harvest Moon. Something in those words made me believe the world What is soon going to end. It didn’t. But the life I lived at the time did. But now it feels like the end once again. This is a strange feeling. I know what profound depression is. I miss you dad. I feel bad that I did not stay better in touch with you. There you have a phone right there at work. One call a week would be nice. This is a profound loss.

Timothy Leary died today. He was cremated and his ashes are being sent into outer space. Is this a first?. By the sounds of it he had an awakening as he could see over the fence.

Dad told me in 1979 that he hey my my was supposed to sound distorted on the radio. I will never forget being 14 and sitting in that white 1970 Ford van that dad liked to call the hotel Ford and spilling my guts to him. I think that may have been the first time we ever had a real talk. We were in the new Cambridge apartments parking lot in Bristol Connecticut In late 1979. The song, it’s only love by ZZ Top was on the radio, but we couldn’t figure out who was singing. Little did we know at the time this would be like many of our future conversations. Five years from now, half a country away.

Grandma stood inside her apartment wondering when we would come in. She told me so the next day. The good days will never be again.

Comments

The Universal Antagonist

There is an underrated movie from 1967 called “The Presidents Analyst”. It tells the story of a presidents analyst who cannot talk with anyone about what he knows. This creates more anxiety than he can deal with. It leads to catastrophic paranoia. In the meantime, various government agencies are trying to kill him. The phone company (a unit with the same power as Facebook, google, and other large personal data collecting monsters) wants what he knows to further their cause of power. He ends up being protected by a suburban “Liberal” family that has more guns the the “right wing wackos” they are protecting themselves from. With many crazy mind bending plot twists that were common in the movies of the late 60’s, the kind that Austin Powers liked to spoof, in the end, the main character realizes the “it’s the phone company” behind all of the evil in their lives, behind all the evil in the world. Hollywood was serious about their message in an insane package. This movie wa...

As You Lie There

I am sick and tired of inaction. I am calling myself out. I have a well-tested talent for creating delicious food, and I stop short of the starting line. How many years will I allow this to slide by? I really cannot do it anymore. So I have questions, observations, and projections. I say, no more! Playing it safe does not pay the bills and is not fair to my desire to make something of this. Yeah, there are hoops to jump through. Anything worthwhile is like that. Insurance and permits, fees, and, of course, the biggest of them all, food safety. Yes, I am willing to do everything. The Boys of Dungeon Lane was released yesterday. It is Paul McCartney's 27th album release since the Beatles ended. This man has played the notes of my soul every decade of my life. Just like learning from a family of 8 hiking the Appalachian Trail, or a Mom with 15 bio kids doing the same, Paul's determination, knowing that he still has more to do, is incredibly inspiring. I am by no mea...

It's Where You Shine

A little bit of salt takes something unseen and makes it an experience. The complexities of contemporary cooking lie in the mentality of recipes, the absence of recipes, cookware, kitchen appliances, tools, and attitude. It is a little about any of the above and more about the need. Need has brought the spice to life in the last thousand years. Once those crusaders of the sea and land got a taste of these things, they risked everything to taste once again. But even more so, the real creativity came from people having very few ingredients. Short growing seasons, famine, wars, and scarcity of ingredients forced people to make what was known as poor people's food. From these, culinarily significant dishes were born. Nothing has taken food to a higher level than the so-called "lower decks." Wouldn't it be fun to take a journey, trying and making these foods that have shaped the culinary world? Braising of tough meats, brining of poultry that would otherwise present dry...

Fight 4 Taste

Search This Blog